Mochibutt

11/30/07

I'm all by my lonesome today. And I drank waay too much....tea, that is.

The plans for today? Lunch with the mums and holiday shopping with Andy. Hurray.

11/30/07

11/21/07

I think the previous was too blurry. Let's see if this one is too....

11/21/07

Random posts of nothingness

I haven't really had much happen to me since I posted last..which was only 4 or 5 days ago. I would up getting a Palm Centro and I love it although I know the monthly bill for this sucker is going to kill me (I'm going to overestimate and say it'll probably be around $80 a month, keep in mind, that's unlimited everything but minutes. I have the whole she-bang: umlimited internet, email, texts, picture texts, GPS, etc etc). EVERYTHING. And I'm loving it, I'm a creature of technology, what can I say?

Didn't really do much this weekend, the usual hanging out with friends, massive amounts of homework, and seeing Andy. Had a huge paper due yesterday and am VERY glad to have that sucker out of my hands. I think it's worth a B, I hope.

Came into work today and found out that I can take Friday off. Woo hoo, I'll actually have time to clean and do laundry and *GASP* ....sleep in. I also have to help Andy pick up and drop off this piano that my mother's friends donated to his school. That shall be fun. If you don't hear from me on Monday, you can safely assume that the piano was dropped on me and that I'm dead.

OHANOTHERCOOLTHINGABOUTMYPHONE: I have Vox on it! Meaning I can post and upload pics and video straight from my phone. You can expect a random video clip tonight :) And I'll demostrate the pic in a moment.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I'm spending tonight with Andy, tomorrow with the fam, Friday doing something productive in the morning, then helping Andy with the piano, and then having dinner with Julie and her man, Saturday at Andy's parent's house helping his mom and sister decorate, and Sunday...Sunday will be the day that I rest.

Let's see if this phone really did post the pic...

11/21/07

I loooooove work....yeah

11/21/07

The random things I think of at work

I really don't have much to post on this morning. Yes...I could tell you all what happened last night between Andy and I but I prefer to keep everyone in the dark...at least until I've had my drunken weekend and have danced with men I don't know. Then maybe I won't feel the need to keeps things on the down low.

Now some random thoughts:

1. I thought I could get out of going to the doctor for the bump on my head by faking that it was going away. Unfortunately, the fact that I still have this headache from Sunday and the lump is still present and painful leads me to think that I will be at the doctor's today. For this I feel slightly guilty because when I turned to my mom and said "I think it's going away, maybe I don't need to go to doctor" she happily proclaimed "Thank you, Lord Jesus!" and went upstairs to pray.

Damn. I'm going to hell. And I still have to go to the doctor.

2. Maybe it's a tumor. Fed by all the candy that I eat at work.

3. Maybe it IS cancer and now I can eat all the candy I want because chances are, I'll become frail and sickly in 6 months.

4. I think my mother believes its cancer because she's been overtly nice to me all week e.g. driving to my work to drop off lunch, not nagging about the messiness of my room and basement, quietly folding the laundry without bitching to me that I need to help, asking me what I would like for dinner each night, preparing breakfast for me every morning. I feel terrible taking advantage of her but this is about the nicest she's ever been to me my entire life and all it took was a tumor!

5. I don't think it's a tumor. I also think it's time I start rambling about something else.

6. I hate it when my mother does the laundry because she will always manage to shrink one article of my clothing. And usually it's my favorite article of the month. And then I can never wear it again and am forced to give it to my sister. Case in point: favorite white shirt, might as well be a new sweater for the cat now.

That's all the randomness that I have for now. Maybe not really all too random as it seems to revolve around this damn bump. Hopefully I find out what it is today. 

Seriously?

Damn. People never fail to amaze me.

I'm officially....slightly-single.

Andy and I had a BIG falling out last night.

Tell me this...who tells their GIRLFRIEND that they're going to take her to dinner and then to a concert and then takes a PREVIOUS FLING out to dinner instead?

The guy that I was officially dating yesterday.

Smooth.

It doesn't help that I went to high school with this fling and she was one of those girls that would call me "Chink-bitch" to my face. Real nice.

Then...who's an even bigger dumbass by sending me this ridiculous email?

So I was up all night thinking about you and me and why I am crazy.  The truth is that Like I said last night I am so crazy in love with you that i don't know what to do with myself.  The only way that I can explain it is you remember Whe we saw "Good Luck Chuck" and how crazy Chuck became because he was over analyzing everything and it was, because he was Head over heels in love for the first time.  Well thats me. Next you know how we always joke that I don't need to say nice things because I've already gotten in your pants.  Well the truth is that I until tuesday I have been trying to get into your Heart.  And I Finally felt that I had Accomplished that when you told me you loved me.  And I don't know why but that time made me feel more special than i had ever Felt in my entire life. And of course I ruined that in less than 24 hours. Finally I would never compare you to anyone I have ever dated in my life or any other person I have known because truth be told you are the most beautiful, intelligent, exquisite, and caring person that I have had the pleasure to get to know, be aroung and love. Anyways it took me most of the night to figure all this out and again I don't know why I was secretive except that there was a moment of insanity.  I just hope that in time I can regain your trust and love and everything that has made me happy for the last nine and a half weeks. Again i wish that I could put my thoughts into coherent words and sentences but i can't. I Love you with All my Heart Talk to you later. Andy

Kiss my ass. And fuck you.

Thanks.

 

Way to fuck with my heart, you asshole.

I think I'm going to try and be single for at least a year this time around. Maybe I'll stop falling for idiots that play with my emotions.

I'm a little nervous about something

Sunday I woke up with a rather large bump on the back of my head. It hurt like someone had hit me with a hammer, but I couldn't figure out where it had come from. I didn't get drunk the night before, I just slept at Andy's place. No one hit me, I didn't hit my head on anything even while I was asleep. I know for this for a fact because I would have woken up if it happened while I was asleep.

I didn't think much of it, I just took an Advil for the pain, thinking this thing would  be gone.

It's still there. Still the same size, still the same pain (although I think I'm getting used to it). It's been since Sunday that I've had this thing. It's Wednesday. If it really came from me hitting my head, you would think it'd be gone by now, or at least smaller in size with less pain.

I don't know what it is. And it freaks me out.

I currently am not covered by health insurance. I thought I was but when I called for my cards, the company informed me that UNR never bothered to enroll me. This turned out to be a big mess, I think I've fixed it, the premium is paid, but the lady said that I won't be in their system until Monday and to call back then. Knowing my luck, I'll call Monday and there will be another mix-up and I still won't be covered.

The only time I have to get this checked out is Friday, I'll have to visit the student health center at my university but if they need to do anything surgical, I'll have to wait until my insurance comes around.

I'm hoping its just a cyst is a strange place. But I had a friend who's father had brain cancer and when I told her about this (I met up with her yesterday for coffee), she mentioned that when they first detected his cancer, it was because he had a bump that wouldn't go away on the back of his head, in the same place. She also urged me to see a doctor as soon as I can.

I really don't think it's cancer. But her warning has freaked me...my mother, and Andy out (the only people I've told).

No, it's not an ingrown hair, or zit, or bug bite, we've looked and the area is not red or irritated. Nothing. There's just a bump. It's not bone (I can tell you this now, since I AM the bone girl, hello, Physical Anthropology master's student!).

So if anyone has had a similar experience with less frightening results, please share. I thought this thing would go away on its own but it's showing signs that it's going to be around for a while.

And now, an important news flash on the creepy men in Sarah's life

I think I emit pheromones that attract creepy men.

I don't think it, I believe that I know it.

There have been faaaar too many cases where I've dated guys and found them to be creepy.

Chad...Karl.....Devin...well...there's only three but there were plenty more that I never gave a chance.

Case in point: yesterday, I was attacked (not literally) by one creepy dude I thought got the hint years ago, and found out that another (whom I hardly know) stalks my facebook and talks about me in the Archaeology lab.

Let's start with creepy dude #1, who also happened to be a TA for a class I took about 3 years ago. That's how I met him, such an unfortunate circumstance. He was creepy in class and a terrible TA. He would stare at my friend Nikki who had the habit of wearing skirts and such to class. And it wouldn't be sidelong glances that normally males do, this was outright STARING at her as she would walk to her seat.

Thankfully, he harrassed her more than he did to me. I think this is mainly because I was very hostile towards him and that only increased when he gave me a C+ on a paper that was later determined to be of A quality.

Later, when I was working for USAC, he shows up to this BBQ that I was hosting and talks to me. I try to be nice, no need to be hostile anymore because I don't see him everyday. I did not realize the extent of his creepiness. He would later stalk me at the bake sales USAC would make me handle on campus. At the same time, he would also stalk my friend Nikki at her art gallery functions.

I haven't seen him for a year and recently began running into him when I walk to my Monday and Wednesday class. He apparently teaches a class in the same building. Normally I would make sure I had earphones in, or would be talking to someone on the phone and would have an excuse NOT to acknowledge him. Well...yesterday, I left the earphones at home (damn) and Andy, the only person who talks to me at that time, was at the dealership handling something and couldn't talk (damn damn damn).

He walks outside as I'm heading inside, and makes a beeline straight at me. I try to play it off like I don't know him and walk around him. Instead he makes a wall and literally blocks me from entering. Then awkward conversation ensued where I faked like I was glad to see him, told him about my master's program, asked him how he was doing, and then made it clear that I  was going to class.

Unfortunately, this means I'm going to start taking an alternate route into the building, otherwise, every Monday and Wednesday, I might be forced to talk to him. Maybe I can get away with a little wave...or maybe next time I'll remember my beloved earphones.

Case #2 is a master's student in my program that I don't know. I think my friend Kim warned me about him when I first began. A few weeks ago before I went to Vegas, my friend Sam came to class. I told him I was going to Vegas for my birthday and he asked if I was going with my significant other. This is odd that he knows this because I don't talk to anyone in my department about my personal life. I don't like it, I feel like it gets too messy when people start knowing things that should really be saved for conversation over drinks.

I ask him how he knows I have a significant other. He says someone in Arch lab told him. Thinking I might know this person, and that it would likely come back to me (thus allowing me to figure out the culprit), I tell Sam that there is no one special in my life.

I come back from Vegas and Sam informs me that the person who told him I had a significant other was very excited to hear that I was single. I poked and prodded Sam to tell me who the person was, but he refused to budge. I didn't push it, I knew I could get it out of him someday.

Yesterday, we were sitting in class and began talking. I asked him to tell me who is talking about me, he says that everyone talks about me: "You're the hottest girl in the department, of course we all talk about you." That comment left me shuddering because I have no idea who falls into the "we" category and very well could be professors. I start guessing names and finally I get the right one.

His name is Mark, I don't know him, I've seen him a few times but never said boo to him. I don't even know how he knows me but apparently he does. Sam admits that Mark has had a thing for me for quite some time (which I don't understand because I only knew of Mark this semester and this makes it even creepier) and that he checks my Facebook literally everyday.

Creepy. Let me also point out that he looks like a homeless man. Want to see?

Click here for his Facebook 

And here for the myspace

So check out my growing fanclub.

 

Something to think about...

SEAN LENNON, English, Japanese
"If, like me, you are Japanese and English, you will in Japan be considered white, and in America be considered Asian. This can be lonely at times."

I came across this quote today during my usual "let's waste time at work" time and it really hit home for me. Growing up in the U.S., everyone made it a point to make sure that I KNEW that I did not belong to the homogenous white group. While going to public school, my schoolmates were the source of constant teasing and racist remarks because I had black hair, dark eyes, but white skin. I was not white but I wasn't asian either, and at the time, even surveys from the U.S. census couldn't even label me. I was always forced to choose either asian or white.

And honestly, I can say that things have gotten better. People have become a little more educated (or have maybe realized that's it better to keep their remarks to themselves). The unfortunate thing is...like Sean Lennon says, I'm considered to be Asian in the U.S.

This was brought to my attention numerous times within the past few years. People refer to me as "Sarah, you know, that one korean girl?" Thanks, but...I'm not Korean. I'm Korean American but I appreciate your willingness to acknowledge my ethnicity. Or...another administrative example, my university needed me to fill out paperwork and I had to mark which ethnicity I am. They lacked a "multi-racial" option, usually the one I opt for, and I had to choose between white and asian. Which brought me to thinking...am I not half of each? How does one choose between the two? Am I more of one than the other?

I drew a separate box and labeled it "multi-racial" and checked it. Needless to say, I got a call from Student Services demanding to know my race, they informed me that "Multi-racial is...unfortunately not a race."

When I went to Korea, I knew that I wouldn't fit in. I definately do not look asian. And I didn't fit in but the thing is...people have gotten used to see halfies like me, that it's no longer an issue. Or they just assume that I'm white.

Like Sean says...it can be lonely...not belonging to anyone and being rejected by both groups.

I guess this doesn't really have a point except to say that this quote encourages me, because I know I'm not the only one out there feeling this way, I'm not the only one who's childhood was awful because of bigoted idiots. I think it's hard for people to realize the conflict of being multi-racial, especially when they tell me things like "race and ethnicity doesn't/shouldn't exist, this is all YOU making yourself feel this way."

Walk a mile in my shoes sometime. Let's see if you can stand up to what society brings upon you for not belonging.

I doubt you'll make it.

No One

No One

http://karenmusic.vox.com/library/aud...

This damn song came on 5 billion times when we were in Vegas. And everytime it came on, I was glad he was standing next to me. Now I can't help but associate him with this song.